Not Belonging

I don’t care what you think

but how do you like me now?

Like this?  I’m wanting a lot of sex

and I’m wanting it with many people

but I don’t do that,

and I don’t lie, but that’s not totally true.

I don’t want to be beholden.

I mean, who does?

But somebody tell me, how do you avoid it?

My friends are constantly offering me food and gifts,

coming by my house to say hi, and bringing me hand-me-downs

for our daughters, and my husband keeps going to work and taking

care of shit, and telling me I’m looking fine when I doubt it, and I don’t

know how to take in all this goodness and grace.